Sunday, June 16, 2013

A Fraternity Called Fatherhood

The Fraternity of Fatherhood!  As it is with Motherhood, there is a select group of men throughout the world who share a common thread regardless of race, religion, culture and personal history and that is in being a father.  However, there is one thing in fathering a child and quite another to be a father.  As it can be with some mothers, so also with some fathers, where a child can experience abuse and abandonment.  There are many single parents due to death, in cases of divorce, absenteeism.  In such situations, a man can find himself in a dual role of parenting as well as a woman.

The focus in today's post is about the average man who enters fatherhood with limited knowledge in bringing up a child, but honestly tries to do his best.  They come with their own history of being fathered, which can be a negative or positive experience.  Whether parenting is in a single or shared experience; the responsibility, challenge, joy and pride in raising a child, increases the learning curve of inner growth within the dynamics of fatherhood. 

Why is a father so important?? A father is the framework of home in a child’s life.  A house in construction has the following important elements, which could run parallel in theory to that in father-child relationship:
 - The flooring is the foundation of love and commitment upon which a child stands. 
-  The roof represents a covering of protection over the child.
-  The upright beams surround a child in support and stability. 
-  The windows expose examples of conduct and beliefs on the part of the father, which directly influences a child.  
-  The door allows a child to explore and discover life within set open and closed boundaries.  

Surrogate fathers often step in to help fill in missing pieces of framework - they can be a grandfather, a stepfather, a foster father, even a favorite uncle or mentor who steps alongside to assist in nurturing a child's soul and guiding a child's spirit in faith and love.

Parenting skills increase as a father meets new challenges in the stages of growth of a child from infancy to young adult.  Throughout the years, a responsible father discovers his own capabilities, which places him in roles of protector, provider, mentor and encourager.  His influence is huge, his support necessary, his stability crucial in the importance of involvement and development in raising a child. He becomes an example in the way that he believes, which affects the way that he lives, instilling values in a child's life.  He juggles with the demands of work and family and learns the fine art in giving beyond limits.  A father learns what really is important such as his time, valued by a child in creating precious memories that last a lifetime.

I discovered a blog called, "Natural Papa" with a post on Fatherhood:  100 Ways to be a Better Father, which was written by Derek Marham.   The following is just 25 out of his list of suggestions:
-  Say I love you.  A lot.
-  Listen to your kids with all of your attention.
-  Hold your kids accountable for their actions and words, but don't use punishment to teach.
-  Leave your watch and phone on your desk sometimes.
-  Make a meal for your family.
-  Spend some time one-on-one with your child.
-  Admit you're wrong when you are.
-  Leave your work issues at your job.  Don't dump on your kids because you had a rough day.
-  Hugs and kisses are golden.  Be generous.
-  Let your kids make their own choices.  Sometimes.
-  Remember that kids mirror our actions, so watch what you say and do around them.
-  Parenting is a shared responsibility.  Jump in and do something Mom normally does.
-  Remember that everyone is somebody's child.
-  Give yourself a break.  I haven't met a father yet who doesn't make mistakes.
-  Unplug the TV and pretend it's broken once in a while.  Or hide it.
-  Go with your child to school once in a while.  Meet the teacher and ask how you can help.
-  Teach the value of service to others by volunteering in your neighborhood, church, or school.
-  Show your wife respect always.  Make sure your kids do also.
-  Take the time to really explain things to your children.  Don't just say, "because I said so."
-  Make amends when you're wrong or grumpy or harsh with your kids.
-  Get down on their level and try to see things as they do.  Chances are, you've forgotten what it's like.
-  Don't insist on conformity.  Let your kids follow their dreams, not yours.
-  Remember to let your children save face.  Embarrassing them in front of their friends is not cool.
-  Follow through on promises to them.
-  Give your kids responsibilities.

To read Derek's article in its entirety:

In conclusion, we have a spiritual Father of Lights who is not only the framework but also the heart of unconditional love towards us.  We are assured that His Love is unfailing and enduring as in Psalm 117:2 and as children of the Light, we are also assured that He will never leave us nor forsake us as in Hebrews 13:5.  God's mercy, forgiveness and grace covers mistakes made and allows a fresh start and a new day for renewal in strength, wisdom and overshadowing love in the embracing privilege of fatherhood.

I really hope that you watch a "Father's Day Tribute" video clip presented by rupi39. It is a wonderful completion to this message.  Using composites of several movies, the clip is delightful in showing how it can be between Dads and kids.....
You can view at:

 To all the great Dads out there who are ordinary men trying to make a 
difference in the life of a child...  HAPPY FATHER'S DAY   
from The Turn-Up Patch.   

Join me next Monday for a new posting for whatever message "turns up"!

1 comment:

  1. lovely tribute to Fathers, Colleen, thanks!
    Happy Father's Day to Jim a bit late in the evening!