Monday, February 18, 2013

Art of True Friendship

Friendship for me is a rainbow on a gray day.  Friends come into my life in their own unique color of personality, character and commitment.   These colors, distinct in hue, cultivate friendship in traits and expression directly influencing my life and vice versa.  It is like a tapestry entwined in a mix of colored murals…  some more prominent than others, some colors that fade and disappear, others that stand out in brilliance, others semi-transparent as stained glass.  All of this is woven into the design of my life becoming an art of true friendship, purposed by the Divine and orchestrated by my choices. 

Mt. Vernon Rainbow
Life throws us a learning curve in the process of friendship as to who gives and who takes - the positive that reinforces or the negative that drains. A friendship can be deep or shallow, a delight or a dismay, a gain or a loss, depending on circumstance and capricious human nature.  Some come and go and some stay for a lifetime.  

  Statistics show in research:
-  we make nearly 400 friendships in a lifetime - but maintain only a handful.
-  we form an average of 396 personal relationships but only 33, one in 12, will stand the test of time.
-  only one in five of these - just half a dozen people - is considered a close friend while the rest are 'social friendships'.

..."true friends"
There is a famous quote by Albert Camus, which states: 
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.

To walk behind or ahead in a friendship does not work because of expectation and assumption.  To be either a follower or a leader in friendship often results in manipulation through a demand of personal requirements and control.  It is an unbalanced "connection" at its best and toxic at its worst. This usually leads to a tear or a breach in the art of friendship.  Sometimes this tear can be mended using God's needle of forgiveness and His threads of mercy and grace and the relationship emerges in tact and in greater wisdom.  But it doesn't always have this result when the friendship refuses to give up its position of walking behind or ahead.

"Just walk beside me and be my friend".....

This is an equal connection; there is no leader and there is no follower.  As human beings, we are marbled with strengths and weaknesses accented in personal struggles.  By walking beside, you get to know these strengths and weaknesses of each other and determine not to cling unto their strength nor pass judgment unto their weakness.  Instead, you are able to take or hold their hand and also offer your shoulder or lean on theirs, if the need arises.  You can keep in stride and offer encouragement, support, appreciation and enjoyment of one another as individuals.  There is movement between hearts where there are no expectations or assumptions, only acceptance.  In walking side by side, each is given the space "to be" in that connection; you know and love them for who they are.  It becomes an art of true friendship in painting it's own mural between two people with sharing human and spiritual experience, peppered with laughter and tears.  Viewpoints in life may differ on how each "sees" out of their own perspective but they are available to each other with a listening ear and an open heart and mind.  This unique kind of friendship holds a sacredness to it, governed by love, forgiveness and grace.  It may be connected with family or to that rare person knit in your heart as a true friend.

The ultimate True Friend is Father, Son and Holy Spirit, all wrapped up in One.  However, in His infinite wisdom, He sees that we need human comfort as well,  a friend "with skin on", to walk along side in the seasons of our life's journey.  That person or persons in true friendship may be near or far in physical distance but always close by in heart.

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” – William Shakespeare

I came across this wonderful and happy video (created by Matt Harding and Melissa Nixon) which has connection in mind, only on a global scale.  It shows the power of acceptance using the medium of dancing and how you can cross over into another's world in culture and discover how much alike we can be as human beings.  Watching this video and listening to the song stirs a greater hope that the light would be tripped, ripping apart darkness and setting mankind free as was the original intention of the Father of Lights, for Peace and Good Will among us all.

We're gonna trip the light
We're gonna break the night
And we'll see with new eyes
When we trip the light 
The song is "Trip the Light" composed by Garry Schyman with vocals and lyrics by Alicia Lemke and Matt Harding.  Video editing  by Jarrod Pasha  - Many thanks to all who were involved to make this video possible.

You can also watch this video at:

Come and visit the Turn-Up Patch for next Monday's posting...... 

1 comment:

  1. I love this video. I have seen it before and it was great that you added it to your message. Perfect !! great reflection Colleen